One day, we’re all going to die. It’s an unavoidable fact of life, and something that many of us would prefer not to think too hard about. However, the truth is that preparing for death can make things easier for both yourself and those who love you. By getting your affairs in order, you can save them from added stress, while also making sure your wishes are heard.
If this is something you are currently thinking about, firstly, we hope you’re doing okay. Our support groups are always there if you are going through a difficult time and need someone to talk to. We want to try and make end-of-life planning that little bit simpler for you or your loved one, which is why we’ve created this ‘getting your affairs in order’ checklist of practical tasks.
You can take a lot of these steps on your own, but don’t be afraid to ask for help if. This may be wise, as it will mean someone knows exactly what preparations you’ve made. The list might look long and daunting, but many of these things you’ll already have lying around somewhere. It’s just a case of finding them, getting them together, and sharing them with the right people.
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1. Write your last will and testament
The first practical thing many of us think about when preparing for a death is the will. This sets out what will happen to your estate and belongings when you die, who will carry out your wishes and, if you have children, who will look after them. You can write a simple will on your own or find templates on Google that you can fill in. Make sure, when you choose an executor, it is someone you trust to act fairly and do exactly as you ask.
We then recommend contacting a solicitor to read over your will, provide any feedback, and ensure the final document is legally binding. This is something we at Untangle may be able to help you with, so do reach out if you’re looking for the right solicitor for you.
2. Communicate your funeral wishes
If you know there is a certain funeral song you want played or ritual carried out at your service, tell the person or people who would be responsible for planning the day. Maybe you want everyone to wear a certain colour, or there’s a reading you’d like them to listen to, or perhaps a certain request for the funeral wake. Whatever your funeral wishes are, write them down and pass them on to someone you trust. This isn’t just for your own peace of mind; it’s helpful for your loved ones too. They won’t have to guess or wonder (or argue over!) what you might have wanted when the time comes. Dying Matters and the National Association of Funeral Directors have created a ‘My Funeral Wishes’ leaflet, which you can print out and fill in if you need some help with ideas.
3. Document all of your passwords
So much of our lives is stored on phones and computers these days, which means that, chances are, your loved ones will need access to your devices at some point. Note down all of your passwords – including any for online banking, bill paying, emails, etc. – or better yet, use a password managing service to store them all in one place. 1Password keeps them all together, and lets you share with friends and family in a few taps. It’s completely safe (with plenty of security measures in place), but makes it easy to give people the access they need.
4. Share locations for important paperwork
Two of the most important documents you can share with your loved ones are your life insurance policy and your pension details – but these can often be overlooked while people focus on the will. So, make sure you gather them up and place them in one location in your home, then tell your loved ones where they can find all the paperwork they need. Other documents and financial details to add in are:
- Debts you might owe, including mortgage statements, utility bills in your name, leases, educational loan statements and other unpaid bills.
- An outline of all bank accounts and credit cards you own.
- Your birth certificate and (if you have one) marriage certificate.
- Life insurance documents, including mortgage cover.
- Any paperwork related to your property, including mortgage agreements and property deeds or leases.
- Relevant statements from Jobs & Benefits Offices (for benefits) and/or the Pension Service.
- Existing valuations of expensive items, such as jewellery or artwork.
- PAYE form P60 if you are employed or recent tax calculations and returns if you are self-employed.
- Organ donor card.
- Passport, driving licence and any relevant membership cards.
Place them all in a clearly labelled folder to make things even simpler for the person looking for them.
5. Make a list of who needs to be told
Those closest to you will probably know who to contact after you’ve passed away, but if you have some old friends you think they might forget, make sure to write their names and numbers down. This can go in the same folder as your important documents – just make sure someone knows it’s there.
6. Consider your social media accounts
There’s no denying that social media has become a big part of our lives, so you may want to have an end of life plan in place for your Instagram, Facebook and X (Twitter) accounts. Perhaps you just want them removed entirely, or maybe you want someone to create a post for you. Whatever the case, this is another thing to share with those closest to you. In your Facebook settings, you can even choose a ‘legacy contact’ to look after your account after you pass away or request that your account is removed once someone confirms your death.
7. Make sure your car isn’t parked on the road
Your car insurance policy becomes invalid as soon as you have passed away, so if your car is parked on a road, nobody will be legally able to move it. Start making sure it’s parked up properly so it can’t become a problem later on.
8. Ensure the executor has enough money
It will be up to the executor of your will to gather money from your estate and pay off any debts and home bills that come through. However, they can only get money out of the estate when the grant of probate has been issued, which means they may need some funds up front to cover essential costs. Try to come to an arrangement that will ensure they have enough money to pay off those bills, as even the most straightforward estates can take months to process. Alternatively, the executor may be able to get help from a solicitor, who can contact creditors on their behalf and advise on how and when payment will be made.
9. Arrange a home for your pet(s)
If you live with just your pet(s), you’ll want them to go to a loving home; somewhere you know they’ll be taken care of and given all the care and attention they deserve. Think carefully about who you would want to look after them after you have gone. Someone they already have a relationship with would be perfect, as they’re likely to settle in much quicker. You could also register for the RSPCA’s Home for Life, and they will arrange a home for your pet on your behalf. There’s paperwork involved here so, again, make sure your pet’s plan is kept with all your other documents.
10. Check if there’s anything you want to get rid of
As well as things you’ll want to gather, there might be things you want to get rid of, too. That slightly embarrassing teenage journal comes to mind! This is just a friendly reminder to go through your belongings and check there’s nothing that makes you cringe too hard. (But don’t worry too much; the people who love you won’t judge those old ‘Dear Diary’ entries.)
For more advice and to connect with others who share a similar experience of loss, including preparing for death, download the Untangle Grief app.
