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We’re all in this terrible club together.

The late bell hooks knew that where there is grief, there is powerful, enduring love. “In its deepest sense,” she wrote, “grief is a burning of the heart, an intense heat that gives us solace and release.” Whether you have lost someone yourself or are comforting another who has lost a loved one, it can feel like there is nothing that can be said to make it better. But as exemplified by bell hooks, the greatest grief quotes provide comfort by sharing an experience of this pain. 

Collected from the work of historic writers, poets, and songwriters, the following quotes incorporate a number of perspectives to guide through feelings of grief and loss. They stand apart from the rest— offering wisdom about living with their memory, absence, and the grieving process itself.

Find the words you need in our collection of the greatest quotes about grief and healing below. 

Quotes about grief and memories:

1. “Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touches some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you’re there.”

— Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451

2. “If there ever comes a day where we can’t be together, keep me in your heart. I’ll stay there forever.”

— A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

3. “I’ll be seeing you

In all the old familiar places

That this heart of mine embraces

All day through.”

— Billie Holiday, “I’ll Be Seeing You”

4. “So when you need her touch

And loving gaze

Gone but not forgotten

Is the perfect phrase

Smiling from a star

That she makes glow

Trust she’s always there

Watching as you grow

Find her in the place

Where the lost things go.”

— Mary Poppin Returns. “The Place Where Lost Things Go”

5. “The song is ended, but the melody lingers on.”

— Irving Berlin

6. “We do not have to rely on memories to recapture the spirit of those we have loved and lost – they live within our souls in some perfect sanctuary which even death cannot destroy.”

— Nan Witcomb

7. “Simply touching a difficult memory with some slight willingness to heal begins to soften the holding and tension around it.”

― Stephen Levine

8. “A great soul serves everyone all the time. A great soul never dies. It brings us together again and again.” 

— Maya Angelou

9. “You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” 

— Anne Lamott

10. “Your memory feels like home to me. So whenever my mind wanders, it always finds its way back to you.”

— Ranata Suzuki

Quotes about loss:

11. “One more day

One more time

One more sunset, maybe I’d be satisfied

But then again

I know what it would do

Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you.”

— Diamond Rio

12. “Sometimes, only one person is missing, and the whole world seems depopulated.” 

— Alphonse de Lamartine, Méditations Poétiques

13. “When someone you love dies, and you’re not expecting it, you don’t lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time – the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes – when there’s a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she’s gone, forever – there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.”

— John Irving

14. “The bird is gone, and in what meadow does it now sing?”

― Philip K. Dick

15. “The melody that the loved one played upon the piano of your life will never be played quite that way again, but we must not close the keyboard and allow the instrument to gather dust. We must seek out other artists of the spirit, new friends who gradually will help us to find the road to life again, who will walk the road with us.”

— Joshua Loth Liebman

16. “Never. We never lose our loved ones. They accompany us; they don’t disappear from our lives. We are merely in different rooms.” 

— Paulo Coelho

17. “I should know enough about loss to realize that you never really stop missing someone-you just learn to live around the huge gaping hole of their absence.”

— Alyson Noel

18. “For as long as the world spins and the earth is green with new wood, she will lie in this box and not in my arms.”

― Lurlene McDaniel

19. “When I saw your strand of hair I knew that grief is love turned into an eternal missing.”

― Rosamund Lupton

20. “Without you in my arms, I feel an emptiness in my soul. I find myself searching the crowds for your face—I know it’s an impossibility, but I cannot help myself.” 

– Nicholas Sparks

21. “What they never tell you about grief is that missing someone is the simple part.”

― Gail Caldwell

22. “Absence is a house so vast that inside you will pass through its walls and hang pictures on the air.”

— Pablo Neruda

Quotes about grief:

23. “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.”

— Khalil Gibran

24. “Look closely and you will see almost everyone carrying bags of cement on their shoulders. That’s why it takes courage to get out of bed in the morning and climb into the day.”

— Edward Hirsch

25. “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing.

At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. Yet I want the others to be about me. I dread the moments when the house is empty. If only they would talk to one another and not to me.”

― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

26. “The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief – But the pain of grief is only a shadow when compared with the pain of never risking love.”

— Hillary Stanton Zunin

27. “And once the storm is over you won’t remember you how made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what the storm’s all about.”

— Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

28. “The whole world can become the enemy when you lose what you love.”

— Kristina McMorris, Bridge of Scarlett Leaves

29. “But there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.”

— Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

30. “Your grief path is yours alone, and no one else can walk it, and no one else can understand it.” 

— Terri Irwin

31. “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.” 

— Washington Irving

32. “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.”

— Vicki Harrison

33. “And when great souls die, after a period peace blooms, slowly and always irregularly. Spaces fill with a kind of soothing electric vibration. Our senses, restored, never to be the same, whisper to us. They existed. They existed. We can be. Be and be better. For they existed.” 

— Maya Angelou

34. “Deep grief sometimes is almost like a specific location, a coordinate on a map of time. When you are standing in that forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in that same place, and now have moved on, sometimes this will bring hope.” 

— Elizabeth Gilbert

35. “Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom.”

— Rumi

That rounds out our collection of 35 quotes about grief and healing. We hope that some of the quotes on this list can provide comfort or clarity for you and yours, or to send to anyone grieving. Whose words have you resonated with when processing a loss? And for free grief support, click here.

Here are some ideas for organising a memorial event to celebrate the life of someone you’ve lost. 

By Hannah Jackson-McCamley, Funeral Celebrant

Hannah is an experienced celebrant who specialises in unique services that truly reflect the person that has died and the needs of those left behind. She is passionate about people, music, literature and travel and is training to be a psychotherapist.

What is a memorial ceremony?

While a memorial honours the life of a person who has died, it tends to be a much more joyful and uplifting event than a funeral.

The ceremony can be as simple or extravagant as you want. I’ve led very formal events, casual and relaxed ones. The tone is set by the person being remembered and the people attending. 

Memorials don’t have to be expensive or involve lots of work. Always ask for help – many people like to be involved and show that they care. 

Here are some ideas to think about (these might be useful for planning a funeral too):

Timing

• Should the memorial coincide with unveiling their headstone, their internment or scattering of the ashes?
• Consider specific dates, like a birthday or anniversary, or set a new date for marking their life every year.
• Could you come together to plant a tree instead?
• Is there a time of year that feels special? If you want to host the service outside, don’t let the weather ruin your plans!

Tone and structure

• Think about what you want from the memorial. Was the funeral difficult, too formal or not reflective of your person? Did many people not make it?
• Even a celebratory day can be emotional and you might feel extra pressure if you’re leading everything. Ask a confident friend or relative or engage a celebrant to help you lead the event instead. 
• Was the person you are commemorating quite formal, or more relaxed? Let this guide who you invite, tributes, music, dress code and venue. 
• Do you want a more formal memorial like a funeral, with a eulogy and tributes?
• For a relaxed event, gather people together over drinks, dinner or a picnic. 
• Do something completely different – a hike, a road trip or a gig that your person would have liked. There is no right or wrong way to do this.

Venue and decorations

A memorial doesn’t need to be sombre – let your loved one’s personality guide you. 

• Hold it anywhere that feels meaningful – at home, in a garden or the woods, a  favourite park, beach or restaurant.
• Can you put up pictures and decorations in the venue, play music, make speeches or do a slideshow, with the privacy and time you need?
• Decorate using their favourite colour or flags from their favourite sports team (avoid plastic and take your rubbish with you if you’re outdoors).

Speeches and tributes

• Do you want speeches or tributes, prepared ahead of the ceremony or spontaneous?
• Inviting different speakers can help build up a colourful picture of your person.
• Tributes can include a short video, a photo slideshow, singing or live music, lighting candles, digging a hole for a tree together – be as creative as you like.
• Create a picture wall, message board or memory book and invite people to contribute.

Rituals

• Memorials tend to be non-religious, without prayers. Something simple like lighting candles, playing music or passing the urn at an internment can feel very poignant. 
• Create your own ritual – ask everyone to wear something that reminds them of your person or share an activity that feels meaningful, like cooking together, sewing a quilt, or singing.
• Bring photo albums to help guests break the ice and share memories.

Music

• Music is great for setting the tone. Create a playlist for when people arrive and after the ceremony, to accompany a slideshow or video, or for quiet reflection during the ceremony. 
• Choose music that brings you comfort and reflects the person you are honouring.
• Music can tell a story; play tracks to chart your loved one’s life and explain the meaning afterwards. 
• Set up a shared online playlist and invite guests to contribute special tracks.
• Invite talented guests to play music or sing – this can be a nice way for children to contribute.

Food and drink

• UK receptions are often held in places serving alcohol. Decide if this feels right for your memorial. 
• Do you want a sit down meal, a buffet or canapés? Consider your budget and the tone. Could guests bring a dish that they or your person loved to share?
• What food did your person love? If they loved desserts, why not just serve desserts – what a treat!
• Afternoon tea can be a nice option, perhaps with bubbly as a toast? 
• For a picnic, ask everyone to bring their own food and drink.

Invitations

This isn’t a wedding so an email will do fine. You could include a picture of your person, plus:

• Details about the ceremony, location, timings, parking/transportation, what to expect including tone and dress code, and any contributions towards food and drink, photos, messages and music for a shared playlist.
• You can create simple designs and layouts using Canva.

Whatever you decide, the most important thing is to feel that you are memorialising your loved one in a meaningful way that brings you and your family comfort as you navigate life without them.

Grief after bereavement doesn’t end with the funeral, and there are lots of ways to continue honouring the person who has died and find comfort in the process. By Hannah Jackson-McCamley, Funeral Celebrant

Hannah is an experienced celebrant who specialises in unique services that truly reflect the person that has died and the needs of those left behind. She is passionate about people, music, literature and travel and is training to be a psychotherapist.

When someone you love dies, it might seem as if life returns to “normal” for those around you once the funeral is over. Relatives might check in less often, and offerings of flowers or food dry up as friends assume you’re starting to ‘get over’ your bereavement.

Death, unfortunately, isn’t something we ever get over. But we can try to make peace with what has happened and even find joy when thinking of the past.

What does it mean to memorialise someone?

My experience as a celebrant has taught me that finding different ways to remember the person that has died can really help us cope with our grief. When everything feels chaotic and the world is a little emptier than before, creating rituals that hold meaning can give you a sense of control and positivity.

It might be hard to look at old photos of happier times or listen to songs your lost person played when you were a kid. But a simple memorial rite can also alleviate pain and give you a sense of the person still being present in your life.

A memorial may sound a little grand – I’m not talking about unveiling a statue or starting a foundation in their name (although if that’s how you want to create a legacy, go for it – see below for more ideas!).

Memorials can be simple things that you hold close or share just with family and friends. Here are some suggestions:

Memorialising someone by yourself

• Watch the sunset or light a candle for your loved one when you miss them. Sunlight and flames are symbolic of life, create a warm atmosphere, and are also very peaceful to watch.
• Say your person’s name, drop them into conversation, and share memories with your children and others who might never have met them.
• Create an altar or small area devoted to your lost one – it can be as simple as a photo, or a snow globe they brought back from a trip, or a letter they sent you, etc.
• Make a memory box or scrapbook of mementoes – ticket stubs, photos, birthday cards, dried flowers, etc.
• Go to a place you both loved, alone, with the dog or other people, have a picnic there on birthdays and anniversaries, or whenever you feel like it.
• Create a playlist of their favourite music and play it when you want to feel their presence.
• Reupholster a piece of their furniture, give it pride of place at home, and use it every day.
• Recycle their clothes, wear their watch or a jewellery. you can always update them by adding a new strap or recycling stones to create a new piece from the past. I got my Dad’s overcoat tailored to fit and I feel him with me whenever I wear it.
• Plant a tree or a flower in a meaningful place or in your garden or grow a rosemary bush on your windowsill. It’s delicious to cook with and a traditional symbol of remembrance.
• Write their life story or note down your favourite memories in a memory book. Ask others to contribute and add photos. On the first anniversary of their passing, send a bound version to people they loved.
• Write a letter to your person on your birthday, telling them your news.
• Give blood or register as a donor – it could help save someone else’s life.
• Volunteer at the hospital or home that cared for them. This may be triggering for some, but cathartic to others.
• Use art to express your feelings – poetry, painting, music, writing… let it all out.
• When you travel, leave a flower or note in a special place or light a candle in a faraway sacred space, like a church or synagogue.
• Try things your person liked – gigs, foods, bungee jumping – experiencing things they enjoyed might make you feel closer.
• Talk to them. Let them know how you’re getting on.

Memorialising with others

• Build a shared online photo album with friends and family. Ask others to contribute and update it whenever memories of your lost person come to mind.
• Set an annual day of celebration – small or big – to honour their life.
• Host a dinner party (on Zoom or Skype if necessary) and cook a meal they used to love. Ask others to bring a dish that reminds them of the person or cook their favourite recipe together.
• Host a party on their birthday or anniversary – e.g. a “Dead Dad Party” – remembrance doesn’t need to be sad!
• Make a quilt or toys from their clothes to pass on to the next generation, inviting others to contribute a square or two.
• List their favourite films and host screenings in their memory.
• Get together and talk about your loved one – the good, the bad and the ugly, joy as well as sorrow.
• Give people they loved their best loved books as gifts.
• Toast them on holidays and festivals.

Memorials that involve money

• Make a charitable donation or join a charity fundraiser, like a run, in your loved one’s name.
• Start an annual event with friends to raise money for a good cause in their memory.
• Sponsor a seat at a theatre or a football club, a park bench or a space in an art gallery.
• Create a legacy fund with a charity close to their heart or set up a fund for a cause that meant something to them.